


You Did What?!

by AnnaRaven



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 02:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10981446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaRaven/pseuds/AnnaRaven
Summary: Shepard gets drunk on shore leave and does something crazy-wonderful for Kaidan.





	You Did What?!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for rego-mem on Tumblr for the very simple prompt, "You did what?!"

The _Normandy_ was quiet, calm, peaceful. Most of the crew were on the Citadel enjoying some shore leave, and all but three of those left on board had gone to bed. Cortez was still up, working on some upgrades down in the shuttle bay, and Kaidan and Traynor were in the CIC going over some data she’d been compiling to present to Shepard.

“This is excellent work, Traynor,” Kaidan smiled. “Neat, logical, efficient…Shepard will be impressed.”

“Oh…well, thank you,” Traynor said with a pleased, flushed smile. “I hope so, I’d hate to waste his time.”

“This is anything but a waste of time,” Kaidan said, gesturing to her meticulous notes. “Believe me, this is very impressive stuff.”

Traynor smiled and opened her mouth to reply, but at that momen Kaidan’s omnitool began to flash. “It’s an incoming transmission from Garrus,” he frowned, glancing at Traynor as he began to back away. “Please, excuse me.”

“Oh yes, of course,” Traynor called after him.

Kaidan walked into the elevator for some privacy before accepting the transmission. “Garrus? Is something wrong? Is Shepard okay?”

“Peachy,” Garrus replied drily; Kaidan heard a burst of raucous laughter and shouting in the background. “He, Vega and Donnelly have had far too much to drink but I expected that before we even started.”

“So what’s the problem?” Kaidan asked.

“Shepard says he won’t leave and go to bed unless you come to tuck him in.”

There was another eruption of laughter in the background and Kaidan heard Shepard’s voice distantly call, _“Come get me, Alenko!”_

“Really, Garrus?” Kaidan asked, half-smiling but also annoyed. “All you had to do was stick with them, make sure they kept out of trouble.”

“And they’re not _in_ any trouble,” Garrus replied, “but they will be soon if you don’t get down here.”

Kaidan sighed. “If I leave the ship, Cortez will be the highest-ranking officer. What if there’s a galactic emergency?”

“If you don’t hurry up and get here so I can get some sleep,” Garrus said with exaggerated patience, “I’m going to murder Commander Shepard in cold blood. How’s that for a galactic emergency?”

And so, twenty minutes later, having briefed Cortez and alerted EDI, Kaidan found himself striding through the Wards to a small, seedy club he’d never even known existed. The bouncer eyed his Alliance uniform, his stony expression, and nodded him straight in.

The club was packed to the rafters, noisy and smoky, dark and humid, lights flashing and shadows whirling. Kaidan could feel the bass of the music vibrating through his bones as he pushed through the crowd, heading to the lounge on the upper level where Garrus had said they were waiting; he already couldn’t wait to leave. When he got to the top of the stairs, a rising roar of laughter greeted him and he saw Garrus striding across, looking stern but also a little relieved.

“Took you long enough – he’s all yours,” Garrus said, gesturing to where Shepard, Vega and Donnelly were propping each other up, laughing so hard Vega’s face was going purple. “I’ll get the Doofus Twins back to the quarterhouse, but Shepard insists on sleeping in his own bed tonight. Apparently he can’t sleep without watching the fish for a while.”

“Yeah, he does like to do that,” Kaidan said fondly, watching Shepard try and fail to zip up his hoodie three times in a row. “Thanks for not abandoning him, Garrus.”

“I’d say it was my pleasure but I only lie when there’s no chance of being caught out,” Garrus said.

Kaidan headed over to the others; he was a few paces away when Shepard spotted him, and the love and happiness that spread over his face made Kaidan’s chest tighten.

“It’s you!” Shepard said, pointing to Kaidan. Then he turned to the others, with only a slight sway in his step, and said, “Hey guys, it’s Kaidan!”

The others roared their approval and James shouted, “Shots to celebrate!”

“Ah, no – no more shots,” Kaidan said. “Time for bed.”

“Aye, aye, Major,” Shepard said, attempting a seductive wink, and Kaidan had to laugh.

“Save it for when you’re alone,” Donnelly called, hiccupping on the last syllable. “I don’t need to hear the great Commander Shepard attempting to be sexy.”

“Like I have to try,” Shepard said over his shoulder, then turned back to Kaidan. “You think I’m sexy, right, Kaidan?”

“You know I do,” Kaidan said softly.

“Show me later?” Shepard asked with a cheeky smirk.

“Yeeeeah, get some, _loco_!” shouted James, and Donnelly dissolved into giggles again.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Garrus said sternly, beginning to steer James and Donnelly towards the stairs by pushing them in the back.

Shepard reached out to take Kaidan’s hand, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for coming,” he said, his eyes intensely bright in the darkness.

“No problem,” Kaidan said, squeezing his hand. “Anything for you.”

“Now, see, look,” Donnelly said, hiccupping again, gesturing towards Kaidan as he began navigating the staircase, “ _that’s_ what I want, right there.”

“You want the major?” James asked, almost tripping over his feet.

“ _No!_ No! Well…” Donnelly tailed off, then shook his head as though to clear it.

“You can’t have him,” said Shepard, brows drawing down. “I saw him first.”

“I meant the...the kiss, and the hands,” Donnelly said, waiting for James to open the door to get out of the club. “Someone to take me home when I’ve [ _hic_ ] drunk too much.”

“ _Esta maldita puerta_ …” James was muttering, yanking hard on the door handle. “This door’s broken, man…I don’t think we’re going anywhere.”

Garrus and Kaidan exchanged a frustrated look over their heads before Garrus stepped forward and calmly pushed the door open.

“Hey, nice work, Scars,” James said affably, stumbling out into the night.

“He’s very drunk, you know,” Shepard stage-whispered to Kaidan before belching in his face.

“Oh, if the Reapers could see us now,” Garrus said flatly.

With a little steering and a little cajoling, Kaidan managed to get Shepard as far as the docking bay before the commander stopped him suddenly with a hand on his arm.

“Kaidan, wait,” he said urgently. “I need to tell you something, it’s really important.”

“What?” Kaidan asked, suddenly alert. “Did you hear from Anderson?”

"What? No,” Shepard said, shaking his head and smiling. “You’re so silly sometimes.”

Kaidan laughed, exasperated but fond. “Okay then, what is it?”

“I got a tattoo.”

Kaidan blinked. “A tattoo?” he repeated.

“Yeah, before that last club –we all got one,” Shepard said. “It was Vega’s idea.”

“You don’t say?” Kaidan replied, brows lifting.

“No, really,” Shepard said, totally missing the sarcasm. “I got mine on my ass, it kinda hurt.”

“Oh my… _really_?”

“Yup,” Shepard nodded. “I got one that says, _Council – Kiss Here_ , with a little arrow.”

“You did what?!”

Shepard burst out laughing, grasping at Kaidan’s arm to steady himself. “Your face,” he gasped, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “I’m kidding, dumbass - what do you take me for?”

“A drunk who’s about to walk his own ass home,” Kaidan said, both relieved and annoyed. “So you _didn’t_ get a tattoo?”

“Oh no, I did,” Shepard nodded. “Wanna see?”

“Shouldn’t you be keeping that covered until it heals?” Kaidan asked as Shepard yanked his hoodie and T-shirt off in one motion. He’d seen Shepard’s naked body before, of course he had, but as ever the sight made his breath catch.

Shepard nodded as he peeled away the dressing from his chest, just above his heart. “Yeah, but Dr Chakwas can bandage me up again,” he said. “I want you to see it.”

The skin was red and inflamed, but the simple black lines of the elegant script were easily legible:

_Brothers in arms,_

_In body and breath;_

_Lovers at heart,_

_In life and in death._

Tears burned at the back of Kaidan’s eyes. “Is that…?”

“It’s about you, Kaidan,” Shepard said, watching him steadily. “Everything I am is about you.”

Kaidan stepped forward and kissed him, not caring who was walking by. Shepard kissed him back, eagerly and urgently; Kaidan’s heart felt ready to burst.

They both pulled away at the same moment, still clinging to each other, foreheads resting together.

“I love you, John,” Kaidan said softly.

“I love you,” Shepard smiled. “Now take me to bed, Major. And that’s an order.”


End file.
